He is in our Hearts, Daddy…
By: Darren Sproat Dec 31st, 2008Category: Then Life Happens
Originally posted on December 22, 2006 when my daugther was in Kindergarten. I decided to republish it to this site because it is such a great story…
A Little Background…
My wife had been told she would likely never get pregnant. For a couple of people who wanted nothing more than to be parents, this was tough news to deal with. We had tried absolutely everything… for 7 years… finally, through a referral from her Doctor to an IVF clinic, we were blessed with wonderful news. My wife was pregnant with twins… we later found out it was one boy and one girl! We had been blessed with our perfect little family… we understood how truly blessed we were.
Her pregnancy was considered textbook as far as a ‘multiples’ pregnancy goes but, unfortunately, in literally the last few hours of the pregnancy, we received very bad news. “Baby B”, the boy, was not going to make it. This was devastating. I heard my wife cry like I had never heard anyone cry in my life. For 9 months, Baby B and Baby A, were real members of our family. Both had a Mom and a Dad, aunts, cousins, grandparents, and so many others anticipating their arrival… both had names, both had clothes and a nursery.
My wife was induced and delivered a wonderful baby girl who has been healthy from day one. She is a real miracle and I feel that it is my duty to make sure she understands that. She will, after all, accomplish heights and confront challenges in her life that are beyond my imagination today!
Losing ”Baby B” was tragic, but I will cherish forever the few moments I was able to hold him in my arms. Still-born, but warm from my wife’s body, I placed my finger under his hand and his fingers closed on mine as if he was grabbing my finger. I felt like if I held him close enough and long enough, if I loved him hard enough, he would come back to us. His funeral was held on September 11, 2001 – certainly a tragic day in world history as well.
Then, Late in 2006…
I picked up my little girl from school and she had a story for me… She told me that it is sad that her brother couldn’t be here with us so that she could have a brother to play with. She said that it was okay though because she took really good care of him, and him of her, when they were in mommy’s tummy. She went on to explain that he is in our hearts and with God and Great Grandma in heaven. She explained that he is always with us. I asked her if she had talked about this with her teacher and she said no… that she had had a dream about him and that he was doing okay.
This was all coming from the mouth of a 5 year old girl! I am so blessed to have such a wonderful little girl… her connection to her brother is real and remarkable.
Your Thoughts…
I am honored to read any comments you might have on this article or my daughter’s connection to her brother. Since she was born, her connection to her brother in heaven has always been remarkable and a real gift.
UPDATE: I have received an overwhelming response from this post by way of e-mails from readers and tweets from followers. I sincerely appreciate your thoughts and prayers and encourage you to write, tweet, or leave a comment if you are compelled to do so.
We Invite You to Join the Discussion and Spread the Word. We find inspiration in the comments left by our readers and invite to you join the discussion. We are also grateful should you choose to share this article with your social networks.
About the author
I wish I could have met the little guy….some day…it is so difficult to lose a little bro…
Hey Chaela,
I wish everyone could have met the little guy. He and his sister are the greatest gifts in my life… I cherish the few moments I was able to hold him in my arms… still warm. I put my finger under his hand and his hand closed on mine… so peaceful, so incredible. I felt that if I just held him closer that he would come back.
And, even more incredible, are some of the stories his sister tells of him taking care of her, and her of him, over the years.
Thanks for commenting Chaela…
Darren
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. To be honest with you, I cried after reading what your daughter had said. What a sweet little girl you have.
Take care Darren
Jane,
Thanks for the heartfelt comment. I do have a sweet little girl and, like the ‘about the author’ page of this blog states, she “will accomplish heights in her life beyond my imagination, I’m sure.” Sorry it took so long to respond to your comment.
Regards,
Darren
[...] We got married on August 3, 1996 and immediately wanted to start a family. We both very much wanted to be parents. The problem, we discovered, was that it was very unlikely Cheryl would ever be able to get pregnant naturally. There is a long story there but I can admit that through it all we were each other’s rock. With a little help from In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), Cheryl was able to get pregnant. Later in the pregnancy, we found out we had been blessed with twins, one boy and one girl. We both thought our perfect little family was all there. Her pregnancy was ‘textbook’ as far as a multiples pregnancy goes. Finally, on September 5, 2001, along came a beautiful, healthy little girl, MacKenzie. Our boy, Michael, would not make it through delivery and is now MacKenzie’s guardian angel in heaven. For more on MacKenzie and Michael, see: He is in our Hearts, Daddy. [...]
TwitterID: whats_yourstory
you and Cheryl are certainly awesome people and it is evident in what your daughter spoke to you- what a blessed family you are! I too am sorry for your loss, yet thankful that you are willing to share your story and to show such an example of how to honor a lost loved one
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Angela,
Thanks Angela, I never tire of knowing people are reading this post.
Darren
TwitterID: karenvancleef
Darren, you are such a beautiful and positive person with a gift of inspiration and encouragement. May your positive outlook and bright light continue to shine throughout the world.
Many Blessings and much love to you, your beautiful wife and your angels on earth and in heaven.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Thanks for the wonderful words, Karen.
Darren
TwitterID: kellyecjohnson
Darren, I originally linked to your website through Twitter, having joined it just over a year ago to connect with people who were positive, motivating and committed to putting good into the world. Your name popped up and I was equally intrigued since I too am a Regina native – my brother and stepbrother and their respective families still live there. But when I read about MacKenzie and Michael I began to cry. Your loss also touched the lives of two close friends of mine, who both struggled with starting a family. I never knew if what comfort I had to offer each made an impact…but their loss is personal. That’s what your story has to say to me, I believe. Loss is single doorway through which each individual steps and your life changes forever. Nobody can truly travel through that doorway with you. It’s yours alone.
MacKenzie has one too. She can see things, as a child, we adults often miss and I believe her story is true. Her dream reminded me how I always thought my children, as infants, saw angels in corners. They would suddenly turn their heads – seemingly towards the corner of a room – , smile winningly and squeal with laughter. Kids simply have greater vision; shouldn’t we all strive for this?
Your perspective of an angel on earth and one in heaven is a healthy connection to an experience that made you who you are. Thank you for sharing something so personal.
[...] me. A little more about Kenzie, and the angel in heaven who is her brother, can be read in “He is in our Hearts, Daddy“. Cheryl and [...]
TwitterID: R5673
Darren, my husband and I share the same wedding date as you and Cheryl. Like you, we too were anxious to expand our yours, and mine into an ours too family by adding another one. Within a year, I was expecting, such a joy, but tragically fell down the front stairs and lost “our” angel. We remain blessed with the yours and mine, and never tried again for the “ours”. Amazing that your daughter remembers her brother, what a gift! Thanks for sharing.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Anne,
Your comment touches my heart. I do find it incredible that my girl is able to envision her brother the way she does. Every once and a while she will still make reference to him “looking over the family” …
Thanks again for your comment.
Darren
[...] Stirring an Emotion with No Words By: Darren Sproat Aug 31st, 2011 Category: Then Life Happens Digg DiggSometimes the best posts are those that are just an amazing photograph that strikes a nerve or stirs an emotion. I find inspiration in amazing photography and this photograph by Sias van Schalkwyk stirred an emotion in me. Why? Read: He is in Our Hearts, Daddy. [...]
Kelly, your statements “Loss is single doorway through which each individual steps and your life changes forever. Nobody can truly travel through that doorway with you. It’s yours alone.” say it all… thank you so much for sharing (and please forgive the lateness of this reply)
Kelly, your statements “Loss is single doorway through which each individual steps and your life changes forever. Nobody can truly travel through that doorway with you. It’s yours alone.” say it all… thank you so much for sharing (and please forgive the lateness of this reply)
No comment, just tears pf both sadness and joy.
@JDFriend1 Just sharing that it stirred an emotion is enough for me.
Thank you!
TwitterID: irisheyes1955
I took a moment and read this beautiful story. It brought to light many emotions for me. Having been blessed with my now 15 year old son after 7 years of trying was an emotional moment beyond words. I knew from even before his conception what his name would be (if the baby was a boy). Many years ago my parents gave birth to a boy who was to only bless them for 2 hours. He was to be the youngest of 6 and I still remember the day my Mom and Dad came home with empty arms and the pain on the faces when they had to explain to 5 others why. I told me Mom and Dad soon after that “my son” would have my Angel Brother’s name. My son is blessed to have this very special angel watching over him. He also has my mom who he calls his “Angel Grandma”. He also has her star (which my students had names for her when she died) that he speaks to each night.
Thank you for the beautiful memories Darren!!!
@Theresa Frankel …and thank you for sharing your special story here. I am blessed to have so many readers who will share such amazing stories.
TwitterID: tbeaudrymellor
Darren, I had some extra time tonight and thought I would peruse your site as I have heard so much about it and see you tweeting often linking to it.
I read the first story about you and then linked to this story.
I am full of tears. I have twins: one boy and one girl. While I love my career, my kids are the center of my universe. I can completely imagine the connection between your daughter and your son because I see this connection daily. There is something that is higher than all of us there. While I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child, I hope you feel comfort in knowing that neither your son or your daughter are alone. That is incredible.
And I admire you for bravely putting this story out there. It is so very personal, but judging by the feedback on here, it mattered so much to so many.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Tina,
Thank you for taking the time to comment and for sharing a piece of your story here. I have had an incredible response to this and other articles on the site… it can be overwhelming at times but I find so much inspiration in the stories of others that I continue to seek out stories that others want to share and post them here.
Soon, I will be sharing a great deal of writing I have been doing ‘behind the scenes’ also… Stay tuned!