What If You Made it Mandatory?
By: Jackie Lee Apr 29th, 2010Category: Contributor Posts
© Ggpalms | Dreamstime.com | Click Image
No matter who you are or what you do, I’m sure if you look at your life there is a piece that you’re just not that happy with. It’s a piece that is just “not quite right”. This might be your weight, or your income, or your ability to ride 100 miles on your bike at one time (ok ~ yeah, maybe that one’s just me), but there’s something.
There’s certainly places in my life that don’t exactly look like what I want them to look like. Over the weekend I was reading a book a friend had recommended. It was more than a book though ~ it was a work book. While I’m reading and working through this book I had the biggest AHA moment. I love those don’t you? Those are the moments that make life MOVE, give it momentum to propel you through to the next level. When I can hit an AHA moment I get excited (and maybe a little scared too because it usually means I’m moving somewhere a little outside my comfort zone).
Here’s my AHA moment.
The only reason I’m not getting what I want in certain areas of my life is because of how I am looking at things.
Let me explain.
Let’s use the example of me riding a century before Fall this year, which happens to be one of my goals. I know that to ride a century I’m going to have to get on my bike and ride. This builds muscle, endurance, confidence. It’s really what you have to do, just ride. However, this morning it’s a little chilly, a little windy and I’m thinking “hmm… not really sure if I want to get on my bike right now”. Even though I know realistically it’s the only time I’m going to have to ride today. What if…
The things I need to do to ride the century this year became “mandatory”. Like paying my mortgage. I don’t think “hmm… I’m a little short on money, I wonder if I should pay my mortgage this month.” Nope. I say “HOW am I going to get this mortgage paid this month” Do you see the enormous difference?
It’s a matter of “if” vs. “how”.
When I really “got” this the lightbulb went off and my mind raced through all the things I know I “should” do but don’t do because it’s negotiable. It’s not going to hurt anybody if I don’t ride a century. It’s not going to be a huge deal to anybody if I eat a bowl of ice cream for dinner. It’s not going to be a big deal for anybody if I don’t write one more article to promote my business. It’s not going to be a big deal to anybody if I don’t get out and ride my bike on this chilly April morning.
But it is. It’s a big deal to me. It’s a big deal to my life. All the dreams and goals I leave unaccomplished says something about me ~ not only to the outside world, but to me, and to my kiddo, and to my husband. It says something about the person I am.
So how does it change if it becomes mandatory?
It becomes, “It’s cold out, so how am I going to get this ride in?” Which leads to brainstorming… oh, maybe wear a hat, or get a sitter for the kiddo so I can go out later when it’s warmer, or take the bike trailer and take her with me later when it’s warmer.
It becomes finding solutions instead of excuses.
That’s it, plain and simple. You begin looking for solutions instead of making excuses. What do you need to make mandatory in your life?
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About the author
Jackie Lee is a perfectly imperfect full time work at home mom to one sassy 5 year old little girl. She helps moms make working from home work for them at her blog It's a Wahm Life. She also helps moms learn the logistical aspects of building a successful blog at Internet Marketing for Mommies. Stay connected with Jackie Lee using the buttons below.
TwitterID: FrankDickinson
ummm Jackie – you just slapped me up side the head with this one: “All the dreams and goals I leave unaccomplished says something about me ~ not only to the outside world, but to me, and to my kiddo, and to my husband. It says something about the person I am.”
I need some time to process this aha moment for me. What I do and don’t do says something about me.
Thanks for knocking me off my pedestal this morning.
Excellent stuff!
.-= Check out Frank Dickinson’s recent blog >> Reliable Web Hosting: 5 Questions You Should Ask =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I’m glad I’m not the only one who leaned back in my chair and pondered how often I’ve been ‘excusing myself’ for not taking the next step…
Thanks for stopping by, Frank.
Darren
.-= Check out Darren Sproat’s recent blog >> A Little Piece of Happy, Revisited – THE KEY! =-.
TwitterID: jeffwiedner
I have to agree w/ Frank. This was a great kick in the, er, seat for the AM. It seems like a no-brainer but that little shift in view makes a heckuva difference. Thanks for the very thought-provoking post!
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I agree, Jeff… Jackie’s post was very timely for me as well. Thanks for stopping in and taking a moment to leave a comment. It’s appreciated.
Darren Sproat
TwitterID: Sally_G
Honest self-assessment is such a powerful life tool. You state it well when you say, “it becomes about finding solutions rather than making excuses”.
I’ve also found this information valuable in reverse — when I find myself letting something slide, making excuses in spite of its ‘importance’ … that may be a sign that its importance is really not mine, but somebody else’s ~ that maybe the resistance is coming from a place that says, “You’ve outgrown this now, it’s time to move on, this is no longer yours to manage.”
A great post Jackie. Thank you!
.-= Check out Sally G.’s recent blog >> What I really meant to say … =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I like your response to Jackie’s post. One more tool in my belt to self assess and reflect with. Always insightful and always welcome here, Sally, thank you,
Darren
.-= Check out Darren Sproat’s recent blog >> A Little Piece of Happy, Revisited – THE KEY! =-.
TwitterID: momtohanna
I’m glad you enjoyed the post. It has been a real aha week for me. I get what you’re saying Sally ~ it definitely makes room for some reflection. I know I have to be careful that “it must not be important to ME” doesn’t become an excuse to not do something that I’m afraid of or feel I could fail at. So just be open.
.-= Check out Jackie Lee’s recent blog >> What’s holding you back? =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Jackie,
I preach authenticity a lot and often find that I have to remind myself to be honest with myself – more often than I’d like to admit, frankly. I am in a constant state of self assessment to enure I am not trying to deceive myself in the whole process. lol…
Thanks again for the great post.
Darrern
TwitterID: Nancy_Bobby
Jackie, I think your AHAH moment has provided me with an AHAH moment as well. I never really thought about making all these things that I “should” do, things that I “must” do…..
The things that I MUST do to achieve my goals MUST become as mandatory as paying bills, going to work, eating, and sleeping.
Wow. Looks like I no longer have any excuses!
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I agree, Nancy… Jackie’s ahha moment, I’m sure, will be an ahha moment for a lot of people.
Thanks for taking a moment to stop by and leave a comment.
Darren
Jackie, I came by to support your guest post and found something wonderful!
I’m sitting on the couch with my laptop, sick and feeling rather sorry for myself. Your post was just the kick in the butt I needed. Now I’m going to use this time for some constructive inner work instead of miserably thinking about all the things that aren’t getting done.
Thanks so much for the inspiration!
.-= Check out Kathy’s recent blog >> Moms Making Money From Home – Why? =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Kathy,
Thanks for stopping by…I share your thoughts about Jackie’s post and appreciate that you stopped in to leave a comment. Your comment reminds me of a quote that is forever ectched in my mind… “Get off your arse and stop feeling sorry for yourself.” ~ Darren Sproat’s Mom (about 1991)
Thanks again for stopping in…
Darren
TwitterID: happyjulieb
Jackie,
This is such a powerful post! It reminds me of one of my most favorite sayings by Wayne Dyer, “When you change the way you look at things…the things you look at change.” It is so easy to fall into the rut of I have to -vs- I GET to. Living life in a consistent state of gratitude…love this!
.-= Check out Julie’s recent blog >> Get Organized – 20% Off Till’ Monday! =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Julie,
I appreciate that you stopped by and, wow, I think my computer monitor got brighter as I scrolled past your comment, what energy. Thanks for leaving us with the wisdom of Wayne Dyer as well (one of my favs).
Take care,
Darren
TwitterID: thatfigureswf
I call this putting something on auto-pilot. For example, you don’t decide each day whether or not to exercise. You simply do it automatically like bathing or getting dressed. Of course this is easier said than done!
.-= Check out Deb Conn’s recent blog >> Apology =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Deb,
I’m laughing because as I was reading the first statement in your comment I was think “yup, easier said then done” and then there it was… Thanks for stopping in and leaving a comment.
Darren
Jackie, always a good post. Getting off your butt and doing something is key to having change. With this economy, the way we eat and the lack of exercise most people get on a daily basis, we can really use this advise to get going and do something, now!
Don’t make excuses, get it done now!
I have really noticed a great change in my business listings on google after following your advise on your blog. I’m still a newbie but I’m kicking butt in the natural listings for my keywords because of your knowledge. Just a small change can make a big difference. Thanks!
.-= Check out pat m wausau martial arts’s recent blog >> Self Defense =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Pat,
Thank you so much for that great comment and for sharing a bit of a testimonial for Jackie’s advice as well… It is greatly appreciated. Thanks for stopping by,
Darren
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
) There have been times that my self-enlighenment has led to some pretty major accomplishments that I had been using excuses for not pursuing before… In your words, however, it reminds that this ‘make it mandatory’ mindset can be used for everything we’re doing. Thanks for the reminder and for sharing this at Then Life Happens.
Jackie,
I love those moments when it’s like fireworks going off above your head (thus, this picture above
Regards,
Darren
.-= Check out Darren Sproat’s recent blog >> A Little Piece of Happy, Revisited – THE KEY! =-.
TwitterID: momtohanna
It’s been kind of a weird day for me. I wrote this post, have had lots of AHA moments this week, and things seem to be coming up. It’s like the Universe is asking me (better yet, making me) prove my commitment to the things I’ve learned. Yeah, it was pretty easy to talk about it around things I feel I’m capable of getting a handle on ~ when these much more unmanageable feeling things come up it gets a little more difficult. A mentor of mine once told me (and I’m paraphrasing here) You’re just like a balloon. Once it’s blown up it can never be as small as it once was. Same with me ~ when I learn something and have this kind of AHA moment I can never live as small as I did before.
WOW! It’s so great to see you all here! I’m so pleased that finally breaking through some of my hard headedness has been of use to you.
Abe Hicks says on the new Vortex CD that this discomfort is caused by my having stretched ~ so now the bigger part of me is stretching and the physical me is fighting it. The discord is the difference between the two.
.-= Check out Jackie Lee’s recent blog >> What’s holding you back? =-.
TwitterID: Fiveoh4upliftin
You just put me square in my place. I do that. I make excuses. After reading this I can no longer function that way. It wasn’t working out for me anyway. Thank You!!
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Tabitha,
It really is quite the AHA moment isn’t it…
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving a comment on Jackie’s post. You’re appreciated.
Darren
TwitterID: 4leafclovergirl
I LOVE this blog post!! I had a meeting last night with a “life coach” and this is exactly what she said!! We made a list of what things I want to change, some of which seem kind of unattainable right now. But then we brainstormed together, to come up with HOW to make these changes happen, and then voila … not so unattainable any more! I guess we are all in this self improvement thing together. Though I will admit, some days it is tougher than other!
Good luck on reaching a century on your bike! One of my goals is 13.1 miles by foot!
Cheers!
Lisa
.-= Check out Lisa Kelly’s recent blog >> Grief and Loss =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I wish you the best in reaching that goal too!
13.1 miles of personal hell… Lisa, I hate running!
This post struck a nerve with readers and it shows in the comments and in the promotion on twitter. Thanks for leaving a comment on Jackie’s post.
Darren
TwitterID: fnnkybutt
I’ve been reading Jackie’s blog for a while now, and always learn something. But this post in particular goes deeper than just teaching me how to do something – it’s about making a fundamental change in myself. And it was most definitely needed. Thanks.
.-= Check out Kelly’s recent blog >> Tallarin Saltado =-.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
Hey Kelly,
Jackie’s post struck a nerve with readers and I am grateful she chose to share this here at Then Life Happens…just as I am grateful you chose to read and leave a comment. Thanks for stopping by,
Darren
TwitterID: christinalemmey
OK, I’ve had my AHA moment for today. I’m the first one to not do something because the conditions aren’t quite right but you’re comparison to paying the mortgage really hit home. there’s no reason we can’t achieve our goals…sometimes it takes a little longer or the plan needs to change slightly but we should always be able to reach our end result.
Thanks!
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
It’s amazing how a simple comparison to something like paying the mortgage can change our perception of things… Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Darren
TwitterID: CherylSproat
Jackie, what a great comparison to show how we prioritize our goals. Time for me to go and evaluate my priorities and make a few things mandatory.
Cheryl
TwitterID: timberwolf123
Jackie, a shift in thought always brings results. So much of our own perception keeps us where we’re at instead of where we want to be. If we allow ourselves to let go of the negative in our life & move onto setting our intentions & taking action….amazing things can happen.
Hugs,
Bill
.-= Check out Bill’s recent blog >> Thinking through change =-.
TwitterID: rickfalls
Excellent Jackie.
Thanks for reminding us that what we do matters.
The thing is, if we’re capable of bringing people further by connecting
with them and we don’t, we aren’t just dropping the ball for ourselves,
but we’re dropping the ball on the impact that we can have on the world.
I hadn’t realized it but the things that I’ve made happen in my life were
accomplished exactly for that reason, I made them mandatory.
Thanks again,
Rick
TwitterID: primaltoad
Uh…AHA!
This was simple, yet VERY POWERFUL Jackie! And, you lead me to a nice blog that I will be reading more often
One problem I have had is PROCRASTINATION… anyone??
There are hundreds of things… some simple, quick, and easy and some challenging. I will frequently start something, get a little done – maybe half, and then put it off. I have been doing this for the past few months but am FINALLY saying… “you know what? I will get this done at some point anyways…why not just FINISH it now so I don’t have to worry about it every day?”
I purchased the book that Jackie is referring too and guess what? I told myself I would read/work in it everyday. I FAILED yesterday…
I am finished with procrastination. It is actually one of my goals in that workbook. I WILL read/work in that damn life changer starting now!
Sorry for the rant
I guess I just hope I inspired at least someone 
.-= Check out Primal Toad’s recent blog >> Are You Lacking Motivation to Change? Watch The Best Motivational Video Now =-.
TwitterID: mikekorner
Jackie,
Thanks for this article. It made me stop and think, which I greatly appreciate. AHA moments are funny … The concept has been there all along but when you finally see it from a different angle, it’s like someone turned on the lights. Thanks for sharing this and making it a collective AHA moment.
Mike
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TwitterID: thisshouldhelp2
“When I really “got” this the lightbulb went off and my mind raced through all the things I know I “should” do but don’t do because it’s negotiable.”
This statement really caught my eye! If we will all listen for that seemingly insignificant word “should” and take immediate action… It is amazing how following what we hear ourselves think we “should” do can change our lives and the way we feel.
How to Increase Your Productivity – http://gg.thisshouldhelp.net/?p=794
.-= Check out Sandra Hendricks’s recent blog >> What is Sensory Processing Disorder? =-.
Took me time to read all of the comments, but I really loved the post. It proved to be really useful to me and I am certain to all the commenters right here! It is usually nice whenever you can not only be informed, but also engaged! I’m sure you had joy writing this article.
[...] What If You Made It Mandatory? from Then Life Happens [...]
TwitterID: PGG123
What a great thing to see so many people aligned on the subject of developing one’s self.
This year I took on a personal health change and despite my mature age proved that you can re-model your body and your mind to be what you want, and look like you want.
I’d recommend all readers to spend the few minutes reviewing this simple blog, and then get going with the rest of your life.
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
I agree, Peter. I am counting on the fact that old dogs can be taught new tricks because there are a lot of new tricks I need to learn too.
Darren
TwitterID: momwithahook
Wow I think you just gave everyone an ‘Aha’ moment with this article. It really is something when we think about all those who are looking to us [like husbands, kids, friends, family, ourselves] for examples.
Another ‘aha’ moment:
When you tell your child to do something or even your husband [ask not tell] do they have the option of bailing? probably not. So why should we?
TwitterID: DarrenSproat
That is the same reaction so many have to this article. I am so grateful that Jackie Lee chose to share it here. Thanks for stopping by.
Darren Sproat
[...] life… and, some time ago, she contributed an article at Then Life Happens entitled What if You Made it Mandatory? What Jackie doesn’t know is that she hit at the center of one of my life mantras… and [...]
TwitterID: chasek8
It’s amazing how something so simple can make such a difference. You are SO right, and I thin you may have shared that AHA moment with me, and many. If things were mandatory my life might, WOULD, be somewhere very different right now. I am the queen of procrastination, excuses and putting things off. As silly and simple as it is I have never looked at my goals and plans this way… Thank you for sharing, because now I am looking at my life through brand new eyes!
Cheers!