My last post was about others giving advice to us, well meaning or not, that perhaps we should not take and instead seek our own answers. Someone messaged me and said if they didn’t act on advice from others, they struggled finding their own answers. I realize many people feel the same and in the past I did too.
For me personally, I felt a lot less confident in myself and that was a big reason I would seek advice and direction from others and not go with what may be a better choice for me. The other reason in listening to others instead of making my own choices was that I didn’t know how to tune into my feelings and I was not clear about who I was. These two factors seem to affect many people in making their own decisions.
Over time I developed my self-confidence in a variety of ways and as I did I felt more equipped to NOT listen to others but to follow my heart and gut instinct. It took time, but these are the things that helped me:
- Look back to your past to determine those times you were successful at something because you made the choice to TRY something… trying (even though you do not always succeed) is essential to feeling confident
- Accept that failing or making mistakes is okay and normal (everyone fails and makes mistakes at times - learn from it and move on)
- Think back to the times that others have told you that you are good at something (sometimes we are good at something and do not realize it until others point it out)
- Think about the choices you have made that turned out well and made you feel good about yourself
Sometimes we do not think about the achievements we have made (big and small) or the talents and abilities we have that we should feel good about. Sometimes we do not celebrate the good we are responsible for and we minimize it.
Regardless of what you have achieved or not or what mistakes you have made along the way, you have to believe in you. Others can express their belief in you or their disappointment in you. But that should not be as important as what you believe about yourself. When you believe you are valuable you can then feel confident and in turn feel confident about making your own choices.
You Have the Answer…
When you make your own choices remember to:
- Trust yourself enough to know you are making the best choice given the circumstances
- Accept that not everything turns out as you want and it is okay
- Remember that you can choose how to react to the outcomes of your choices – with disappointment (when it doesn’t work out) and learn from that or with celebration (when it does work out) and you can allow it to affect you how you choose
How have you found the answers that work best for you?